![]() I’ve coached far too many executives who believe that their enemy has nothing of value. You’ll gain insights that you’ve missed and add to your store of knowledge. #Keep your enemies close how to#And not just how to work with these folk. Third, if you really listen actively, you’ll regularly find stuff of much value to yourself. “So, you’re saying that.?” And “By that you mean.?” If you let these people know they’ve been heard, you’ll often address the issues that are at the root of your differences. So, parroting what they say, and then paraphrasing is rarely overdone. Actually, they’re lonely and sad, which often arises from wounded pride and a feeling of being ignored. Typically, enemies are not supermen (or women). Second, greet your enemies with profound, compassionate listening-an unearned gift to that person. It charges my emotions and makes it difficult for me to focus on the strategic and covenantal matters of life. That kind of bitterness makes me a worse person than them. That’s a bit much for me, but I’ve found it imperative to move in that direction rather than succumb to the temptations of anger and disgust. Stephen Carter, the Yale law professor, says that the only way to deal with these people is with love. Years of experience reveals that the best way to deal with your enemies is with care and compassion. Instead, they worked behind his back, building support for their own ideas and commitments-and made a lot of trouble for my colleague. ![]() I was an associate minister to a great guy who ignored his enemies, hoping they’d eventually be shown wrong and fall on their faces. And sometimes confronting another is a form of suicide.įurthermore, ignoring these people is also a bad move. Sure, there are occasions when confrontation is useful, but they are rare. You may feel good by confronting them, but that won’t make the problem go away. They’ve got their views and in a high percentage of cases you’re not going to change their mind anyway. However, most business people recognize early on that they’re going to have to work with “enemies,” people they don’t especially like or trust–or pay the price in performance and sometime job loss.įirst, confronting your enemies is usually a waste of time and a bad conversational move. Near as I can tell, there are two vocations that absolutely require a person to keep their enemies closer just to keep their job: elected politicos and Protestant church ministers. ![]()
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